(via callmehats)

"If you’re gonna seduce me, don’t dress up like my Aunt Frida at Seder."

Schmidt, New Girl

"(your interest in Neil deGrasse Tyson x my low-cut red dress x your willingness in joining a CSA this summer x your half-Jewish heritage) / (my tolerance for your morning breath - your roommate’s cat - your scratchy bedsheets) + (our mutual enjoyment of Mexican food + your above average grammar in your texts + dancing in your kitchen to Otis Redding songs + your expressed desire to start homebrewing your own beer + that time you mumbled about how you thought my hair was sexy when you were drunk and I said “What?” and you said “Nevermind, I’m wasted”) = TRUE FUCKING LOVE!"

Shmitten Kitten

(via officeofjohnston)

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(via witanddelight)

(Source: witanddelight)

zooeyclairedeschanel:

if your man starts a reformation to separate the church of england from the roman catholic church because he wants to divorce you because you can’t produce a male child to inherit the throne

he’s just not that into you

(via modernhepburn)